Post Op Day 14

 I am back to work(-ing from home)!

The recovery period has been an exercise in finding the boundaries for myself. I have been off all painkillers since Post Op Day 11. There are just three lingering issues at this point :-

1. I still can not lift any heavy things for the next couple of weeks.
2. I feel the last 10% of the mobility in my neck is still unavailable. But I'm grateful that the majority of it is back.
3. I haven't been able to do my usual workout or yoga in the meantime. So I feel the effects of that as the body being less flexible and most sluggish.

The review with the surgeon is happening this Friday. I will hopefully have more to share about the next steps after that. Peace!

Post Op Day 2

 Hello world, I’m back. I took a rather dramatic snooze during my thyroidectomy on Wednesday. The doctors at UCSF brought their a-game and performed the long surgery without complications. I’m on day 2 of post op. Still active with the painkillers but I’m starting to feel like myself. I’m so grateful for the love and support I have received already. In the hospital, among friends who are deeply involved in my care, from loved ones many time zones away, internet strangers and my person at home. It’s been a journey already and it is looking promising.  I couldn’t have asked for better people to go along with me. I love you all! 

An update on 2023

Somewhere in Southern California, 2023

 

This is the 15th birthday of my blog and it has been three years since I have written anything here. The blog is now a rebelling teenager who does not want to talk to you often. Bizarre things have happened in the last year. It has been simultaneously the best and the worst year of my life. I have stumbled upon my person while totally not looking for it. It has reaffirmed my faith in humans and the world. 

I have also been diagnosed with a disease which I had a lingering suspicion about for years. As it turns out, the disease has been lingering for years too. Annual physicals were a champ and they have delivered. I have outgrown the childhood pattern of being intimidated by medical stuff and I have been monitoring my health after I moved to San Francisco. That has helped in the past too. My eye issues got addressed in time. This year of 2024 is going to be Year of The Thyroid, as my surgeon put it.

It has been difficult for me to release control. I have been so afraid of free falling over the last few decades. But the diagnosis has forced me to confront that fear of giving up control. I can have the best likely outcomes, best doctors and best caregivers at home but I have to trust them. I have to give up control and trust them to do their job. 

The first step for the Year of Thyroid will be a surgery to take half or all of it out. That shouldn't be a difficult thing to live with as thyroid hormones can be delivered to the body by a daily pill. I am a create of habit anyway. This is just another routine to add to my list.  

I am going into surgery sometime next week. I should be home after a night's stay at the hospital. I have kept the circle of knowledge very tight up till now. I want to start talking about it. If you have known me for any length of time, I like to talk!

The stories we tell ourselves

 This is my speech for Level 1 of Motivational Strategies pathway, Project Evaluation and Feedback. Some techniques in this speech are inspired by Md. Qatani's World Championship winning speech.

*Swirls drink in the glass.*
It has been a long week, I could use some of this. Don’t worry, this is just my third glass of the evening and there is a long way to go.
Are you all going to judge me because of that? Do you think excessive alcohol consumption can kill? Let me tell you something. Do you know that the number of people dying from Diabetes is 5 times the number of people dying from any causes related to alcohol? Yet, if I pull out a snickers bar, no one would even notice.

Toastmasters and guests, did you find that surprising? That is because it is.. It is hard hitting realization, it is mind bending information and…. It is a big bag of lies. I made up that story.

Stories are powerful. Stories are power. The right story delivered to a person at the right time could transform their lives. Stories, fables and fairy tales are not just artifacts of our childhood. Look around you, they are literally everywhere. So much so that sometimes we tend to overlook them. Tonight, I want to talk to you about some stories and some stories that we tell ourselves.

The first story that comes to mind is that of Money. Currency! Money is the greatest story ever told. Everyone believes in the gospel of Money.
Imagine this. A piece of paper, a dollar bill, can be turned into food at the restaurant. Food can be converted to physical labor.
Labor can lead to a payday. That payday brings us more such pieces of paper that we began with. It’s magic!

All of this magic revolves around the trust in a story. The story says that this money has value because the government and the central bank says it has value. As long as the government and the central bank are deemed to be trustworthy, money will keep working its magic.

Not the story you were expecting, was it? *pause* Let me give you another one.

We just came out of an exhausting election season in the US. Since 24x7 news networks tell us that there is no such thing as too much politics, let's talk about Nations.
Nations are not naturally occurring phenomena. Mother nature doesn’t have walls. Nations are products of history.They are carved out by guns, germs and steel.
It is the belief in a common story that binds people together in a Nation. People chose to live as one nation because the values reflected in the story appeal to them; Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

At this point, you could ask me : All that sounds nice. Money and nations sound very important topics. But what can I, an individual,  take away from this rambling?
My answer to that is, Good question! Glad you asked.

2020 has been a year like no other in our lives. We have witnessed our world turned upside down.
It took away a few things from us, right?. Like our freedom to be near our loved ones.
Sometimes, the very loved ones.
Taken away were our plans for the year and the very innocent wish of a happy new year.

At the same time, we have gained quite a bit in the process.
We have realized that we are resilient beings.
We deserve a strong and competent leadership. That is non-negotiable.
We have realized that when we join forces, science can advance by leaps and bounds. Never before did we have a vaccine for new disease so quickly.

So, I want to leave you with a question. What is your story about 2020?
Will it be the story of a year that scarred us forever?
Would it be the story of a year that made us stop... and think?
Think about what is important - people, relationships and the planet that we leave for our next generation.

Thank you!

Shots of sanity #1 - January

When I look back at the first half of this year, it is seems so ironical that I chose the phrase "A year of hope" to address 2020. A lot has changed in the way we look at everything; publicly and privately. Hence I have decided to put "A year of hope" on ice. If I keep using that phrase, it would soon start sounding very sarcastic. I want to use this space on unpack - January through June. I want to put events in perspective without getting intimidated by the scale of them. I want to do that in my own style of being casual, direct and honest because all of us could use some shots of sanity right about now. Let's begin.

Honestly speaking, I didn't want to leave San Francisco on NYE 2020. Life was good on this little patch of land. Probably the best it has been in quite some time. Work was great. By the way, considering the world in June 2020, I still think work is still great, We will get into that later. Social life was eventful. Yoga classes were keeping me on my toes, literally.

The situation in India was a bit unsavory at that point. Well, it was what we called unfavorable at that point in time. The Indian Parliament had just passed the Citizenship Amendment Bill. Cities in India were reeling with protest from the public. At the sidelines of the news cycle was a tiny note about a virus outbreak in a wet market in China. We didn't pay much attention to it. We thought that the maximum impact it would have is that the hipsters would make a bit of noise about the delayed shipments of products that were made in China. So we moved on to other things.

I saw friends and family in India after 2 years. I worked for a few weeks while being on the road. Smaller towns in India have amazing 4G internet these days. That helped me extend my vacation. Around mid January, I saw that the Ministry of Health had started putting up checkpoints in airports. I didn't bother much. They said that one needs to be screened only if they had visited China in the last 14 days. So we moved on to other things.

The paperwork at the US consulate went through on time and I had my travel documents stamped. It was rather smooth. I texted my friends and colleagues in US that they could expect me back in a few weeks. I was so ready to come back to SF and resume my life from where I had left off. I think I that did happen for a while. The first few weeks of February were a bliss. It was like I had never left. SF was still cool and windy. The Yoga classes were still keeping me on my toes. Work was still good. We celebrated. We danced. We went on with out lives like nothing had changed. We thought we have moved on to other things.

Here are some pictures from my visit to India that didn't make it to any social media. I post them here because, well, I want to.

(Pictures in my mother's study, Dhanbad)

(Lunch like a Royal, Bangalore)

(Game night, Bangalore)

(The first mug of coffee after return, SF)

A year of something

It is the 6th of December again!

This feels like a great opportunity to look back at the year; from my last birthday to this one. Things have changed, big time! Physically speaking, maybe not. I still live and work at the same place I did last years. I like to believe that I still look like a million bucks (thanks Dad! Lol). But that’s it. 

I do feel like a completely new person. I’ve tried to fight change all this while. All I needed to do was embrace it and live in the moment. Be comfortable in my own skin. This might sound too simplistic to be effective. But It seems to be working for me.

Health and well-being has been a major focus. I’ve spent time, sweat and resources on it. It has got me started on a fitness journey. I’ve never thought I could do the things I do now. Shoutout to my coach Jeri! I have the confidence to drop into any fitness class and live through it. In my eyes, I count that as an achievement.

I’ve realized that the mind needs downtime and maintenance, just like the body. I have spent a lot of time exploring things that give me joy. Not necessarily the things that people want me to do. But things that make me happy. I have started sketching again. I have been cooking more regularly. Brewing my own coffee with TLC. Talking a walk/ hike just because I can. Dancing unapologetically!

I have reigned over my spiraling Imposter Syndrome at work. I think I know I’m good at it. I know I can contribute something valuable. I understand when to take charge and when to ask others for help. I have grown to trust my coworkers. All of that has happened because of the amazing set of people I work with. Dmitri has been a mentor all this while. I can’t thank him enough for getting my confidence back to me.

To summarize, I want to continue living like this. Embracing change and being comfortable in my own skin. I have an entire month of travel ahead of me. I’ll see you guys next year. Who knows what goodies the new year has in store for me?? I’m excited!!! See you in 2020!

(Here is a picture from the Friends pop-up museum in the city. I’m being Gunther! :P )